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Life is full of individuals' specific memories and progressing cadence. Bright side is the sweetest tastes, glittering colours and happiest lines, dark side is the bitterest chill from the shadows. The memories which have been painstakingly forgotten always influence and shape the appearance of their lives by its traumatic posture. This thesis is exploring the contradictive emotions of alienation and guilt at family. Self-disclosing is a starting point to comb out tangled emotion in memories, such ways of artistic creation and the writing of pieces interpretation is the source of understanding the conflicting thoughts, and to rebuild the brand-new form of 「Family」in mind. Repeating the languages and words to interpret the pieces is the main progress, admitting repeatedly the inside secrets and the issues. By doing so, potentially transforming thoughts and minds of oneself from different stages, also indirectly release the pressure and inspire or heal the soul.
The main material has been using in the whole creative process is oil painting, it mostly expresses the emotion stalemate in memorizing the pest occurrences, to show every vibrations in normal daily life, to represent the conflicting emotion under the perfectionism. There are three transforming stages in the theme which catalysis by the accumulating time, namely: 'Conflict' series, 'cussed dilemma' series, 'ensconced place' series. The writer faces the elusive memories in the past by creation, confront the dark sides of its character by creation, as well as display the thoughts in different stages to practice the idea of being true to selfhood.
The thesis is the writer's own contradiction and willfulness when facing the predicament, using words to expound, to rival the mind converted. Creation within drawing can present the deeper unspeakable feeling in mind, and the mutual aspects were expected to be brought up.
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